Mom and I have long joked that one of the best things about the beach is people watching. Just sit back, soak up some sun, and get real life quality entertainment. Obviously, the world has taken a few trips around the sun and a few more flips here on the surface, but for our first beach trip in four years, people watching was honestly more disgusting than entertaining.
It's easy to laugh when people are just acting silly, but it's also easy to judge when people are acting like it's, to quote Ke$ha, "a place downtown where the freaks all come around, it's a hole in the wall, it's a dirty free-for-all, everybody take it off, there's a place I know if you're looking for a show..."
As if being a single, Christian girl coming out of a year of covid-distancing isn't hard enough, now we face the rebound of everyone getting back out there (self included) and giving it all they've got. To be honest, after a few days, instead of continuing to feel better about myself and more optimistic for life, I felt pretty hopeless and discouraged. So not only am I lonely, now I'm an outcast, too?
One day after getting dressed up in a new outfit, Mom and I joked and referred to a group of girls that had set up camp next to us and the lifeguard, also being thankful that the back of my bikini bottoms doesn't look like the front (hello you are NOT shaped like that), and that "modest is hottest," laughing at the cliché.
That afternoon I was scrolling through some new devotions that I had saved to my iPad, and there was one about modesty in current times. Given the situation and conversations, I figured that was the choice for the day. It was actually really encouraging, and given the Hot Girl Summer we're living in, I wanted to share some realistic points on the topic. Surely I am not the only one who is feeling this right now.
I don't want to say any of this to condemn anyone (I will fess up first that I look and feel better than I have in yeeearrss and I'm proud of it), but I want to shine some light on what's under the surface and finding joy in biblical beauty. "Modesty" isn't as much about what we wear (or don't wear, yikes) but about the condition of our hearts.
I found it interesting that it started out acknowledging that most modesty discussions are aimed at women: how skimpy is your dress, how expensive is your makeup, men are visually stimulated so don't lead your brothers to sin, yada yada. But there are many times that men are also called to live decent lives--"above reproach, husband of but one wife, temperate, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, not given to drunkenness, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome, not a lover of money" (1 Timothy 3:2-3). In a message to all people, Romans 13:13-14 tells us to behave decently, not in sexual immorality, and to clothe ourselves with Jesus Christ. So no ladies, it's not all about us, but like my dad said that day on the subject, "You don't walk out in front of a train and expect not to get hit."
Throughout the New Testament, uses of the word "modesty" translate as "aidos" which is offering acceptable, reverent worship to God, while others use "deous" which translates as awe, godly fear, or reverence--Nothing about how you dress your body but how you live your life. It's not just appearance but also actions and attitudes.
Paul doesn't make a list of dressing rules, but he sets a faith standard. It's an appearance that flows from the inside out. (1 Peter 3:4, 1 Samuel 16:7, Proverbs 31:25, 30). While our outer appearance is secondary, it is still very important. If we have been made in the image of God (Genesis 1:27), saved and made new (2 Corinthians 5:17), and have the Holy Spirit living in us (1 Corinthians 6:19), then how we treat our bodies matters. It's a representation of what we believe. If you don't believe you are worthy to be loved, then you're probably not going to put as much effort into getting fixed up to go out. If you believe that you'll only be happy if all the guys are talking to you or about you, you're more likely to dress (dare I say undress) for them than what you would wear to shop at Target or get coffee. On the other hand, if you believe that God's love for you comes before anyone else's, and that you're already enough, you're probably going to be a little more confident in who you are and a little less pushy on every guy that walks your way. You can trust that God will reward your heart in due time--the right people will see the right things at the right time. (Patience much easier said than done, I know).
Think about this, too. I thought it to myself then Mom said it out loud later. If everyone already sees all your junk, what's left for your husband? Why would he think he's anything special to you?
To end, it made a connection that is so obvious now, but I had never seen it before. It's a picture of the gospel. In the Garden of Eden, God gave Adam and Eve clothes to cover their sin and shame just like He gave us Jesus to cover our sin and shame.
If we never sinned, we wouldn't have such a thing as naked, but guess what, we sin all the time, and it's generally frowned upon to go naked in public.
So while it might sound lame or old school to talk about being modest, it doesn't have to be. Taking care of yourself inside and out, having a beautiful soul (Jesse McCartney?) filled with the Lord and spilling out into your daily life can be a joy, not a burden. No matter how much or little money you have, where you live, who you are, you have yourself and God with you. You can live to serve Him with what you've got.
Instead of focusing so much on the modesty of our outfits, let's focus more on the motives of our hearts.
